Back to school.

Yes it really is 4:35am as I begin this post.

My sleeping pattern has been totally messed up this past week in that I've been going to bed at roughly 6 in the morning and waking up about midday. Last night I shut everything off at 10pm and was probably asleep by 11pm. Then I woke up at 3am and haven't been able to get back to sleep since. So what choice do I have but to start my day now?

I'm due back at college later today, at 9:30am to be precise. It's only to enrol again and do those silly tests for your Maths and English skills. But I am overwhelmingly nervous about it. I feel like I'll no longer fit in with the rest of my class having been away for two months. But there's also a part of me that isn't bothered by this possibility. I kind of want to be left to my own devices this year. I'm actively choosing to exclude myself somewhat. I wrote up a lengthy plan of action for college this year and I intend to stick to it. And sadly that means somewhat distancing myself from my classmates. I don't want any distractions this year. I'm aiming to do better than my first year and coming out of this course with a grade to be proud of. As well as a portfolio of work that I'm actually happy with.

We already have our first mini project, a studio shoot with photographer Jillian Lochner. She's coming in to do a lighting masterclass with us and has asked us to plan a shoot. It does mention this is being done in groups but I don't know how collaborative a project they're expecting. Maybe I'll find out later today. But more than likely, knowing my tutors, we won't find out until the day before or the morning of the shoots next week. Still, it's best to be prepared whatever happens.

So I'm back to education after a summer of relaxation. I'd say I'm ready for this but following the past week or so of being home I'm not so sure anymore. I'll over thought like I usually do. Really must curb that habit.

Of course the very best part of going back to school is a return of the glorious student loan. I can finally treat myself to some new clothes and new shiny things. A 35mm SLR is at the top of the list so expect to see a post about that soon enough.