An unexpected return

2013 kind of ran right past me. It was a funny year to say the least.

I'm back now though. I'm ready to get back into where I was and hopefully build on that. There's been some change here on the blog, a new name and a new layout. It felt right to do that. 

The beginning of a new year does bring a renewed sense of hope. It feels like I'm open to getting back on track. 2014 feels like a gift, a huge opportunity, a year for change.

Of course I could just be being swept up in the romance of these precious first days of a new year and everything could come crashing back down around me by February. But let's hope not.

I'm not setting resolutions for this year. I'm just planning to achieve. I want to look back at the end of the year and be able to count off all the successes I've had.

You see 2013 didn't feel very successful. Don't get me wrong, there's been some big changes. I moved into my own little flat and away from a toxic relationship with my brother. Cutting him out of my life has been a big thing for me, a good thing. I successfully became a permanent employee at my job and have been working hard ever since which has led to other elements of my life being put to one side. My relationship is now a wonderful 18 months old and I'm thankful every day for my lovely boyfriend. And I finally fulfilled a desire I've had since I was a young teenager and began what I suspect will be an ongoing addiction to tattoos, getting the first two of many planned designs.

But 2013 brought loss as well. A brilliant friend suddenly passed away in April and the loss has been a deep blow. Others close to me have also said goodbye to family and friends as well and it's felt like 2013 has been blanketed with unexpected and tragic death. Not to bring things down but it's all played on my mind.

It's not only losing loved ones that's affected me. I've felt this creeping sense of losing myself as well in 2013. For a while I was convinced that I had a good solid grasp on my depression but there have been some low points that I've really struggled with. Times when I just wanted to disappear.

2014 though. 2014 feels different. It feels exciting. It feels like there's lots to be done and lots of experiences to be had this year. I feel positive in a way that I haven't felt in quite a long time.

I'm positively excited for 2014.

So forgive me for the prolonged absence and hopefully join me in embracing this new year ahead.

Long Overdue.

13th March. The date of my last blog post. It happened to be my 100th blog post, unremarkable in its reporting of an iPhone upgrade. It also evidently turned out to be the post after which I'd take an unplanned haitus. But now I am back.

Hello again.

I would like to take a moment to explain my haitus. Like I said it was unplanned. Nothing especially spectacular happened to cause it. It just came about after a little too much thought. If you were following the blog at that point then you possibly noticed the increased gaps between posting, the drop of regular featured posts and the diminished amount of writing within the few posts I did do. To tell the truth I stopped posting because of a combination of losing interest and feeling like blogging was too big a distraction. Since leaving college and the absolute failing of finding employment the blog became a distraction for me. At first it was fun. It felt like as long as I was writing my blog then I was doing something worthwhile. But then the novelty wore off and the prolonged period of no college/no job was becoming incredibly tiresome. I needed something of actual worth to do. I needed to be earning. And blogging was distracting me from committing to finding proper work. I was too wrapped up in the internet to thoroughly apply myself to the job hunt. That damn internet. If only it weren't so distracting.

 

So why have I returned? Well because I've actually missed blogging. I may not have a massive following, I may not be changing lives with my posts nor inspiring others but I do miss putting my thoughts out there to share with the few who care to read them. I also feel I'm in a better place to take blogging back up.

So what have I been doing? Well it took roughly 6 weeks from that last post but I did manage to find a job. It's only temporary but it's better than nothing for now and I'm still applying for more permanent positions. Actually I have an interview for another job on Wednesday so fingers crossed for that. I began having something of a life again and spent time with friends both local and afar. I've tried my best to keep up with photography stuff but lack of funds has meant lack of processing abilities. Not to mention a lack of inspiration. There's a backlog of films to be processed and the results will make their way on to here eventually. I've been down to Brighton, London, Shropshire and Newquay all in the name of living. Somewhat individual posts about these things will happen as well. And lastly I've started seeing someone which has been pretty damn nice.

So that's that. And here I am. Expect more posts, perhaps not as regularly as previously but something is better than nothing.

The photos are all courtesy of my iPhone. I'm a slave to Instagram.

Laters,

Panda x