Ellen Rogers

Despite having Jillian Lochner set us a mini brief for a photoshoot, my college tutor Dan thought it'd be a terrific idea to book two guests speakers to come in for our first proper week back at college. Thankfully both of them were very interesting in their own individual ways so I couldn't begrudge the lost work time too much.

The first of these was the delightful Ellen Rogers.

In her own words Ellen is an all analogue fashion photographer. However she does work on more personal projects as well, again all with analogue photography. Her work is pretty unique on the market not only from her use of film but from the whole style she adopts in her photography. It's not likely to crop up on the pages of Vogue but you would probably catch some of her shots in Vice. I'll post a couple of examples for you to nosey at.

As you can see she has this really unique and beautiful style. I simply love her work. Funnily enough I did have the idea of trying to hand tint my own photographs for an experimental project at some point. Ellen doesn't hand tint in the way I'm thinking, with pens, but instead uses some very complicated processes of which she would tell us nothing about. She's very secretive like that. But when you have such a particular look to your work and need to ensure originality then you wouldn't go around telling everyone you meet how to recreate your work would you?

Now she doesn't solely work on fashion photography, I imagine like a lot of photographers who work commercially she takes commissions in order to fund the projects she's really interested in. Being interested in the Occult and generally strange things Ellen's more personal work has a deeper, mystical sense to it. It doesn't always completely differ to her fashion work but there are certain photographs of her that have a very strong, almost disturbed feel to them.

Not that I imagine she'll ever read this but I hope Ellen wouldn't mind me sharing this particular photograph and the accompanying history behind it with you.

If I remember rightly approximately a year ago Ellen's mother passed away which is naturally a very distressing and upsetting time for anyone. Following her mother's funeral Ellen wanted to capture on camera the flowers around her mother's grave but each time she visited she couldn't get her camera to work. Growing more and more distressed by the possibility of missing out on this photograph Ellen made the decision to take the flowers from her mother's grave home with her (she'd been previously told this wasn't allowed so she was technically stealing). She promptly arranged for a model and surrounded the girl with these dying flowers and began shooting. One of the resulting photographs is the one you see above. Now even without that story the photograph gives off a deathly but peaceful feel to it, like the young girl has passed away but has done so calmly and without fear. When you know the story behind the photograph you see just how personal an image it is and for Ellen it was a therapeutic process to finally capture these flowers and the emotions that undoubtedly come along with losing a parent. I think it makes for a beautiful and haunting photograph, it's definitely amongst my favourites of her work.

For the most part of the day Ellen talked us through some of her projects and gave us some advice for working in the fashion photography industry. Which may not quite be my chosen path but was good to know nonetheless. She was a great guest speaker and for the second half of the day she kindly gave her opinions on the work of my classmates who were brave enough to show it. I've taken some influence from her work and seeing her commitment to working entirely on film over digital has given me the confidence to continue with my own explorations with analogue photography.

I highly recommend that you check out her website, Ellen Rogers or even her Flickr. If you happen to have some spare cash then I'd say invest in her book, Abberant Necroplis, as it's a beautiful photography book to own. I may well treat myself to a copy as it's just gorgeous.

So there you have it, the wonderful Ellen Rogers. Check her out.

Laters,

P x

A small warning.

I've been back at college for just a little over a week now and I'm due to update my blog regarding all that so I'm giving a little warning to expect a fair few posts tonight.

So when I last wrote I was up at ridiculous o'clock ahead of going back to college to enrol again. Due to the excitement of seeing everyone again I didn't feel tired until I got home afterwards. But it was so good to see everyone. There were a few staff and course changes. Our beloved Lee Garland of Lee Garland Photography has sadly left the staff as he is simply far too busy with his actual career. This genuinely upsets me as Lee is a cracking guy and a lot of fun to have around. He's pretty stylin' too and can't resist jumping in front of the camera himself if he gets chance. But he has said he'll come back to visit us at some point. Plus he usually takes on a few students as assistants for shoots so I'll have to pop him an email soon time to remind him how great I am. He's yet to be replaced on the course but as far as I'm aware the plan is to have Jim Naughten come in for two days a month to work with us. He came with us to Seville back in April and our tutor has just spent a month with him in Africa so he's quite the friend of the course really. It'll certainly be interesting to have someone of his calibre to come in and give us advice. We've also lost our dry as a bone graphics tutor Max Gattie. He's no big name but he sure leaves an impression.

As for my class mates, well one of my best friends Jack has deferred for a year in order to focus on his assistant job. Of course I'm gutted about this but I think Jack has made the right decision. He'll get much further with his own career if he spends this time assisting than at college. He'll be deeply missed but thankfully I can always text him and call him a gimp whenever I want.

As for the rest of my class, well they're all the same really. I've missed the amount of laughing our class does. I imagine our tutors are torn between loving and hating us. We always get our work done but in our own time with a whole heap of laughing throughout. We haven't really been set any proper unit briefs yet though. We knew before we returned that we had to plan and produce a photoshoot of our own choosing. So that was the main thing we've worked on this week. But I'll write up on that later.

It feels good to be back at college. I still thankfully get my 4 day weekends as my schedule is full days Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. I'm so glad the schedule was worked out like this rather than with silly half days here and there. It works out so much better for everyone like this. I already feel that bit happier having those 3 days at college a week. It doesn't seem much but being around so much laughter really helps.

I have a few more posts to write up about what else we've been doing this week but I'll do each separately. For now I'll leave you with this photograph. Says quite a bit about our class really.

Laters,

P x

Back to school.

Yes it really is 4:35am as I begin this post.

My sleeping pattern has been totally messed up this past week in that I've been going to bed at roughly 6 in the morning and waking up about midday. Last night I shut everything off at 10pm and was probably asleep by 11pm. Then I woke up at 3am and haven't been able to get back to sleep since. So what choice do I have but to start my day now?

I'm due back at college later today, at 9:30am to be precise. It's only to enrol again and do those silly tests for your Maths and English skills. But I am overwhelmingly nervous about it. I feel like I'll no longer fit in with the rest of my class having been away for two months. But there's also a part of me that isn't bothered by this possibility. I kind of want to be left to my own devices this year. I'm actively choosing to exclude myself somewhat. I wrote up a lengthy plan of action for college this year and I intend to stick to it. And sadly that means somewhat distancing myself from my classmates. I don't want any distractions this year. I'm aiming to do better than my first year and coming out of this course with a grade to be proud of. As well as a portfolio of work that I'm actually happy with.

We already have our first mini project, a studio shoot with photographer Jillian Lochner. She's coming in to do a lighting masterclass with us and has asked us to plan a shoot. It does mention this is being done in groups but I don't know how collaborative a project they're expecting. Maybe I'll find out later today. But more than likely, knowing my tutors, we won't find out until the day before or the morning of the shoots next week. Still, it's best to be prepared whatever happens.

So I'm back to education after a summer of relaxation. I'd say I'm ready for this but following the past week or so of being home I'm not so sure anymore. I'll over thought like I usually do. Really must curb that habit.

Of course the very best part of going back to school is a return of the glorious student loan. I can finally treat myself to some new clothes and new shiny things. A 35mm SLR is at the top of the list so expect to see a post about that soon enough.

Oh Flo

Trust Florence to bring me a theme song for my current life. Can't wait for the new album.

Life. Or something like it.

I've been home a few days now and I'm feeling a bit more settled. Been up to a couple of things so thought I'd just write those up.

Dry the River at The Deaf Institute

As I mentioned on Tuesday, I was due to see Dry the River at The Deaf Institute that night. I first saw these guys play as support for Johnny Flynn last year and it was an instant like for me. Unfortunately at that gig I missed out on getting any sort of EP so have had to settle for youtube videos and the like to listen to their tunes. Whilst I was away during one of my very rare full internet access sessions I saw that they would be touring. As part of my new living like I want attitude I decided to buy a ticket for their Manchester date. I've been quite eager to see more of them since the gig last year so I was really looking forward to the gig. If you read my last entry I was struck by a bit of a random headfuck and couldn't quite shake it. It left me in a fairly anxious state as I wandered around town before the gig. Which is never pleasant. But I took myself for the walk to The Deaf Institute regardless. I've missed too many gigs due to headfucks before and I'm planning on ever doing so again. Now I've never been in The Deaf Institute for a gig before. I've been in for lunches before uni lectures and even went there as part of a night out once but a gig was a new one for me. If you've never been The Deaf Institute is a pretty neat place to go to. The gig was upstairs in the music hall which I really wish I'd gotten photos of. Like I said I've never been to a gig there before but it's an awesome venue. Pretty small but manages to be three tiered just within the music hall. There's a standard standing area in front of the stage and next to the bar, then there's an amphitheatre-esque seating area at the back and to the left of the stage is a balcony which looked to have some comfy seats behind its glass panels. So you've got a choice of how you want to experience the upcoming gig. I went for the seating at the back. There were two supports, Air Cav and Worship. I quite enjoyed Air Cav but Worship weren't really my style. Then it was time for Dry the River. Now the last time I saw them they were a support act themselves so only did a few songs, most of which were their slower songs. This time having a longer set they got to perform some of their faster tunes and did some impressive rocking out on their instruments. The intimacy of a smaller venue was really nice especially when they did the first half of 'Weights and Measures' acoustically and some of the crowd sang along. I think it must be so touching as an artist to hear your fans singing your lyrics back to you in such a way. Plus 'Weights and Measures' is one of my favourites of theirs. My other favourite is 'Bible Belt' which I'm including a video of here. I'm quite a fan of songs that switch from slow to mid pace half way through. Overall I really enjoyed Dry the River and I can't wait for their album to come out, which I think they said would be in the new year. I suggest maybe checking them out for yourself starting with the below video. I hope you like.



The Rise of the Planet of the Apes - a date with Becky Butters
If you don't know Becky Butters, you probably should. She's my best girl. Guaranteed to make me laugh til it hurts any time I see her. Originally we were supposed to go watch Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 2 on Monday when I got home but something came up so we rescheduled for Wednesday. I didn't notice until it was nearly time to go out that HP wasn't showing but we met up anyways and decided we might as well just go watch something. This was both a good and bad idea. When you haven't seen your best mate in 2 months, things are going to get loud and silly. Which is great unless you decide to go to the cinema. Now if you're even remotely aware of the film you probably know it isn't a comedy. However we managed to joke and laugh at nearly every thing that came up. I feel so sorry for anyone who was in that screening because we must have just ruined it. Or maybe we enhanced their experience. It certainly did mine. I really actually enjoyed the film despite all my witty quips throughout it. Tom Felton was suitably bastard like. James Franco was just James Franco. The highlights were obviously the starring apes, the lead of which is called Caeser and was 'played' by that great ape actor Andy Serkis. The apes rising was just fantastic and the bridge scene is possibly one of my favourites in cinematic history. Not since the Ents went to war have I cheered the triumph of nature over man. I was rejoicing heartily at certain scenes and wishing death upon my fellow humans. However I must admit I don't know if the experience would have been as good if I hadn't been with Becky. If you like your animals more than you like your humans then definitely see the film. If you haven't already. I know I'm considerably late to the game with recent film releases.

Laura Marling - A Creature I Don't Know

I completely missed out on getting a ticket for Miss Marling's upcoming tour thanks to being in Portugal. I am still bitter. However I picked up her new album on Tuesday before going to The Deaf Institute. It was pretty annoying to carry the cd around knowing I wouldn't be able to listen to it until I got home. What with being away I'd heard nothing of her new material so as I do anytime one of my favourites releases something new I was pretty nervous. I always fear they'll go in a direction I don't enjoy. But with Laura Marling her music just seems to be progressing nicely. I always have trouble defining the genres of the artists I like but maybe that's a reflection on music itself these days. With 'A Creature I Don't Know' Miss Marling has stepped further away from her debut album and shifted to the side of her second album. She's no longer just a girl with a guitar. She's becoming more comfortable with the support of a full band and is taking to experimenting with her music I'd say. There are definite country music vibes with some of the tracks. They may not be as easy to follow (and in my case sing along to) as the songs from her first two albums but I think 'A Creature I Don't Know' is a great example of how artists mature. She is after all a precious 21 with 3 albums under her belt already. I'm loving following her career so far and she remains one of my favourite artists. I'm just so angry that I won't get to see her on the upcoming tour. Damn Portugal.

So that's mostly it. Tonight I went for a curry with my friend Ben. We've been friends for years but I suspect we'll probably become better friends now he lives in perfectly accessible Fallowfield. Afterwards we went to a pub and due to some awkward seating the split in the back of my dress ripped until the bottom of my bottom was revealed. Thankfully I had a scarf in my bag to fashion into an underskirt. I'm never not carrying scarves in my bag in the future. It was a really nice evening though and I'm looking forward to many more in the months to come.

Right well that's all for now. Can't decide whether to have a lazy day tomorrow or keep up with the keep busy mentality to prevent excessive broodage and possibly relapse. I do have a library book to return.

Laters,

P x

Home is whenever I'm with you

Well I'm back. Home in fair England. The Portuguese dream is over.

I got home yesterday afternoon and within a couple of hours was rendered with the worst being homesickness. Ended up that I spent the rest of the day in bed feeling very sorry for myself. I came home on my own so I feel kinda vulnerable at the moment. But that's nothing you want to hear.

So Portugal. For 2 months. Wow. Erm I'm struggling to think of what to say or more correctly how to put what I do want to say. It's been a funny 2 months. Funny weird, not funny ha ha. Although there have been moments of that. When I arrived I was still pretty torn up about a recent and very painful encounter with my ex. I was really unsettled and unhappy, just didn't know what to do with myself. But eventually I moved past that and settled into the very quiet Portuguese life. We were in Praia da Luz, near Lagos. It's a pretty quiet place or at least I felt it was. A few bars, a few tourist shops and that's about it. It's not somewhere to 'have it large' as some may say. I'm not a partier so that didn't bother me. However I would have liked a bit more life in the town. In general I find Portugal a bit odd. Well where we were, other parts of Portugal may be perfectly splendid but I found Praia da Luz kinda lacking. They're kinda behind the times in Portugal which if you're into that slower paced life then it works out alright. But I needed that touch more culture and life to keep me interested. I think I'm too allied to Spain to be into Portugal seriously. Portugal didn't at any point feel like home to me whereas when I'm in Spain I feel like I belong. Sorry Portugal, I like your friend Spain better, I think I'm gonna ask him to go steady with me.

So it hasn't been the 2 month excursion I expected nor wanted. But I think maybe in a lot of ways it was what I needed. I took some photographs. I did some sunbathing. I thought a hell of a lot. Most of my time was spent contemplating one aspect of my life or another. And I wrote to process my thoughts. I got some news whilst I was out there that threw me for six. It's really funny because there's a part of me that says I'm making something out of nothing, being very petty and acting like a downright moron over it. But there's the other part of me that's taken it and turned it round to become something positive for myself. That news pushed me into a mini breakdown to be honest but it took breaking down to begin building back up. I sat down and thought about what I didn't like about my life and what I wanted my life to be. And I began making plans to change that. In my last couple of weeks all I could think about was coming home and beginning all the plans I'd made. I've been plagued by the fact I've not been living the life I want to live. Since I was 17 I've pretty much lived for the guys I've dated. And that's been true up until the most recent ex. I foolishly lived for others rather than for me and it's done a great deal of damage to me. So I'm back with plans to live for myself. I don't want to hold myself back anymore so I'm working on not doing so. I don't for a minute believe I've completely changed my way of thinking. My depression and anxiety issues are still around, still bringing out the negativity in me but I'll keep working on those. In the meantime I have a fair few plans for the upcoming months. Got tickets for several gigs including one tonight, to see Dry the River at the Deaf Institute. I'm seeing my best friend tomorrow for a catch up and to finally put myself through the sobfest of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 2. Thursday I'm supposed to be going out with another friend. Then I have a job to apply for and research to do for a few of my other plans. Essentially what I'm telling myself is that I have a life to be getting on with and that doesn't involve being hung up on my ex or any other silly issues in my life. Time to start living. Not just existing.

I doubt this has been the riveting update expected of all my Portuguese adventures. I just needed to write this stuff down in a public domain to remind myself of what I told myself I'd do. Not return to what I know and definitely no reaching out to my ex.

Anyways, that's all for now. I have things to be getting on with after all.

Love,

P x