What I want from 2014

Hello again.

I did say I would blog more but we've had a bit of an upheaval and things are all a little bit up in the air. To cut a long story short, my lovely boyfriend has suddenly found himself jobless and we're both trying to figure out what's the best direction to go in. But that isn't for me to discuss here right now.

I wanted to come back and put in writing those successes I wanted to achieve for 2014. I'm determined not to consider these as resolutions. Resolutions just seem synonymous with failure. And I don't want to feel like I'm failing 2014 before it's even begun.

So what do I want to achieve?

Implementing lifestyle changes

Diet? No. Lifestyle changes? Yes. Recently I've fallen in love with Katie Lowe's blog, www.fatgirlphd.com. It's an amazing site which is full of brilliant advice and articles on health. In her own words, it's not just about weight loss. I do want to lose weight this year, like I've wanted to do every year but this year I plan to push myself. I'm not going on a crazy diet. I don't plan to spend every night in the gym. But I am planning on implementing lifestyle changes which will hopefully help me on my way to becoming a healthier me. The first of these has been to break my truly awful habit of not eating breakfast in the mornings. I've always said I'm not a breakfast person and the truth is, that's a load of nonsense. I was just being lazy. Imagine being too lazy to eat breakfast?! Well that was me. However I am now turning this around. I've eaten breakfast every morning for nearly two weeks. It is a small victory admittedly. But I am proud of myself considering I didn't use to bother. 

There's other lifestyle changes I want to implement, to cover them in brief:

- Drink more water

- Make my own lunches

- Try more healthy meals for dinner

- Be more active

None of these things are particularly radical but a combination of these implementations will hopefully result in a healthier me by the end of the year.

Fall back in love with my hobbies

I feel like I didn't do much in the way of indulging my own hobbies last year. 2012 was full of photography and I had endless rolls of film to be developed. In 2013 photography near enough stopped for me. And I honestly couldn't tell you why. I mean I haven't even photographed round my little flat and I've been living here for almost a year now! That's pure madness to me. So I want to pick up my cameras in 2014 and start snapping again. Several of my cameras have half finished rolls in them and there's a box of films still waiting to be developed. So the first thing to do is starting sending those films off to be developed and get those unfinished rolls finished. Then with a fresh roll of film I can get fall back in love with photography.

There's also the small matter of the shelf full of unread books. Reading has been my staple hobby since being a child. I was never seen without a book. I took something to read wherever I went and there isn't a family member alive who can't tell you about some family do or other where I brought a book. But there's been this steady decrease in my reading habits. So it's time to reverse that and finally clear this shelf of unread books. I'm not aiming for a particular number of books or target per week/month. Just to clear that shelf first would please me. So I'm back to carrying a book with me everywhere, using my 15 minute bus journeys for a quick read and tucking up with a book instead of my laptop at night. I've already finished a couple of books and I'm just starting on the Chaos Walking trilogy by Patrick Ness. I might even go back to book reviews eventually.

Not to mention blogging! Only very briefly like but I would like to fall back in regular blogging. Even if I don't gain any more readers this year. If I can maintain regular posting then I'll be happy.

Straighten up my finances

I have this lurking debt hiding in my purse. It's in the form of a student account with a rather silly overdraft. An overdraft which is almost fully drawn out. And I've been really rather slow to pay money back into the account to fill that overdraft back up. It's a constant worry but by the end of 2014 I plan to have paid that overdraft off and to change that account to a savings account. This isn't something I'm going to write a great deal about because I find talking about money incredibly personal. But I didn't want to leave it unsaid. This also means being wiser with my spending and keeping a closer eye on my outgoings and incomings.

Be more open

2013 left me feeling quite closed off from a lot of things. I think the combination of moving out on my own and losing a friend left me withdrawing from life a little. Depression comes so easily to me and feels like the more natural me. I do continually struggle to keep myself from sinking into the worst of my depression habits. But I want to put up a more active fight against my depression this year and I think the way to do that is by being more open. More open to new opportunities, new friends, old friends and more open to my boyfriend. That's nowt kinky, I just think I need to show more willing to do some of the things he wants to do. Though he does mostly want to listen to noise music. I think being more open will be all the more important when Andy and me finally move out into our own little place. I'm such a homebody that there's a high chance I'll just want to retreat into the world of our home and forget to bother going out for anything other than work. So being open and staying open will be of high priority this year. And hopefully that'll lead to a more exciting 2014.

Remember my family

Moving out and moving away from my family meant I became quite detached from them. I don't see enough of my parents and nephews anymore and this actually saddens me more than I let on. Admittedly my family drive me up the wall half the time but I do owe them a lot and I need to spend more time with them. So more evenings with my mum having tea and giggles, and more weekends with my old man and nephews. I do hope to spend more time with my older nephew in particular because he's in need of a good influence and I've always been that for him. But since moving out we don't spend as much time together and I think there's having an adverse effect on him. More time with my favourite little man will be a great benefit to us both I feel.

So that's it for me and my hopes for 2014. There are other things I have in mind but I think this post is long enough as it is. Writing some stuff out has felt pretty good and I hope that I can come back to this post at the end of 2014 to confirm that I achieved what I wanted. If I can then I'll consider 2014 a success.

An unexpected return

2013 kind of ran right past me. It was a funny year to say the least.

I'm back now though. I'm ready to get back into where I was and hopefully build on that. There's been some change here on the blog, a new name and a new layout. It felt right to do that. 

The beginning of a new year does bring a renewed sense of hope. It feels like I'm open to getting back on track. 2014 feels like a gift, a huge opportunity, a year for change.

Of course I could just be being swept up in the romance of these precious first days of a new year and everything could come crashing back down around me by February. But let's hope not.

I'm not setting resolutions for this year. I'm just planning to achieve. I want to look back at the end of the year and be able to count off all the successes I've had.

You see 2013 didn't feel very successful. Don't get me wrong, there's been some big changes. I moved into my own little flat and away from a toxic relationship with my brother. Cutting him out of my life has been a big thing for me, a good thing. I successfully became a permanent employee at my job and have been working hard ever since which has led to other elements of my life being put to one side. My relationship is now a wonderful 18 months old and I'm thankful every day for my lovely boyfriend. And I finally fulfilled a desire I've had since I was a young teenager and began what I suspect will be an ongoing addiction to tattoos, getting the first two of many planned designs.

But 2013 brought loss as well. A brilliant friend suddenly passed away in April and the loss has been a deep blow. Others close to me have also said goodbye to family and friends as well and it's felt like 2013 has been blanketed with unexpected and tragic death. Not to bring things down but it's all played on my mind.

It's not only losing loved ones that's affected me. I've felt this creeping sense of losing myself as well in 2013. For a while I was convinced that I had a good solid grasp on my depression but there have been some low points that I've really struggled with. Times when I just wanted to disappear.

2014 though. 2014 feels different. It feels exciting. It feels like there's lots to be done and lots of experiences to be had this year. I feel positive in a way that I haven't felt in quite a long time.

I'm positively excited for 2014.

So forgive me for the prolonged absence and hopefully join me in embracing this new year ahead.

Hello again.

November 2012. 

I started a new job in November 2012. And subsequently abandoned my blog.

It feels like I haven't done a great deal since November other than working. But there's been things. Here and there. I might catch up on them eventually. But for now here's to a renewed start with this blog.

Hello.

P x

Red red wiiiiine.

AHEM. Sorry about that. Couldn't resist.

So as well as my experiments with lemon juice soaking I did try a red wine soak too as encouraged by the 'InCamera Arts' group. However it was pretty uneventful. I did everything a little last minute to tell the truth. The shots themselves were just quickly done on the land behind our house. I'd picked up a little bottle of red wine on the way home. Nothing was especially considered for this. Which perhaps accounts for the poor results. I soaked the film for about 24 hours but I think the cold conditions of my room meant it had little effect on my film.

As you can see for some of the photos there's an obvious purple stain to the image and for others it has an almost tungsten type colouring to it. I'm tempted to give this another try but with the red wine boiled and maybe leaving it on top of the radiator whilst it's on for a few hours. But who knows. I'm a little torn between whether I like my experiments or whether I prefer to see what others do. The unpredictable outcomes is maybe a little too much for me especially if it doesn't feel like it's been damaged enough. But then again I'd probably be upset if they were too damaged. Don't think I can win here.

If you want to see the rest of the roll the Flickr album is here.

What do you think? Are you into the idea of film soaking experimentation?

Laters,

P x

When life gives you lemons...

All this talk of lemon juice soaking experimentation and I didn't even show you guys the rest of the shots I purposely damaged. How silly of me. Admittedly a lot of the shots didn't have very strong results. The woefully cold conditions of my room probably doesn't help that. I think heat plays a really big part of this kind of experimentation so maybe I'll introduce more heat should I try it again.

Some of these I like just because of the shot and some I like because of the effect the lemon juice has had. It's a pretty mixed bag overall. I've found lemon juice soaking fun and would maybe try it again but it isn't something I'll do on a regular basis. I think I enjoy my own photography more in its original state. Unless I had a specific project in mind that required film damaging then I won't be doing it to nearly every roll I shoot. I'll leave that to those who are far better at this than me.

If you haven't had enough of these then you can find the whole album here on Flickr.

Laters,
P x

InCamera Arts

In my last post I dropped a line about the fact I've been attending a little photography group here in Manchester called 'InCamera Arts'. Run by the lovely Jenn Brookes it's a monthly meet where photographers who enjoy the analogue side of photography can sit round, have a chat and show some work if they like. The first two meetings I attended had guest speakers, Michelle Waters and Jonathan Stead. Both different artists working on film and both very inspiring in their individual ways. Tonight was a little quieter with a smaller group than I've seen previously but it gave us a chance to show some prints. I think it was a nice way to quietly celebrate the group being a year old. I hope I'll be around to see its 2nd birthday.

Near enough everyone showed some of their work in one way or another. There was one print of Jenn's that I was especially fond of which I hope she doesn't mind me sharing here. If you click on the photo you'll go through to her Flickr where she has tons of great photographs. I know there's pretty much no way of controlling how the purposely done destruction to the film turns out but the way the green is almost in line with the buildings and the bridge just looks stunning.

There was also this picture by Julian Dyer (check out his website too for more of his work) which I think looks fantastically timeless. He shot it on a Polaroid Land Camera a few months back but given the subject and the camera used if you gave this shot a few years to deteriorate a little then I doubt you'd be able to date it at all. How great is that?

And as for me, well excess is usually my thing so I took along a whopping 18 prints to show. They were little 5x7s to be fair. Considering I don't think I shoot in any particular style or have any kind of distinct signature to my photography, when I was looking for stuff to print I did notice from my recent Barcelona trip that I do have a fondness for shooting into the light. And within the Barcelona shots alone I found these 18 shots that all near enough come from shooting into the light.

I've never really reflected on my photographs in this way and it's funny to see that there is something of a trend within my shots. It's been good for me to pull them up in this way really and now I have a nice little collection with this theme. It'll be interesting to see what comes of it in future. Whether I'll find myself gathering a whole heap of these shooting into the light shots. I must say just having some physical prints makes for a nice change. I've been slowing gathering a collection of shots to get printed out so I can have some up around my room as miniature LomoWalls. Will definitely have to get that organised and begin the printing process soon. I've also been considering making a book from the shots I took in Barcelona, I really like the idea of the best being collected together in such a way and presented in a format which people can flick through. It seems a little more refined in comparison to your bog standard photo album.

Anyways, that's all I have to say for now. The next 'InCamera Arts' is in December and we'll be looking at cameraless photography which is pretty exciting. Going to have to get some research done for that one!

Laters,

P x